Ok, so maybe the title seems a little desperate. No, this is not a “want” ad. Please don’t be confused.
Recently was given the challenge to seek out or make sure I have that “one girlfriend who you can count on to give you the harsh honest truth, never be judgmental of you, will check in at least weekly once you part ways, and can always be counted on in times of trouble.”
As I reflect on all of the friends I’ve had in my life (which have been many since I move quite often), I’ve had that friend many times until I or she moved away. From there, we both get too busy to make a point of keeping in touch. So, were we really good friends?
I fail at friendship so often. For many reasons, first, I’ve always been so shy. I never know what to say when I meet people, so I generally avoid meeting people. Thanks to lots of prayer and time with my Father, this is getting much better. I am aware of when I begin to enter my “shy shell” and force myself to try. Of course, more times than not, I still fail because of my terrible awkwardness.
On of my best friends told me once, that when we first met she thought I was a terrible snob. She finally realized it was just terrible shyness. Thank you, Jesus, for working so hard to free me from those chains. I still have a long way to go, but I’m getting there.
Second, I have a really terrible memory. Maybe I should put a notepad around my neck, so when I have the thought to call and check in on someone, I’ll remember when I get home, or am not in an situation where I absolutely can’t call. So, forgive me, I have great intentions, but like most mommies, I forget.
Third, I feel like I annoy people. I’ve worked so hard to overcome shyness, I think I “try” to talk too much, dig for conversation material, and generally annoy or bore people to death. Sometimes, the look is obvious on their faces and I just want to run away crying, but I tell myself I am just imagining things and won’t fall for Satan’s lies. (Again, something else I’m praying for freedom from)
So, as we approach our future in ministry, I know I need a friend that I can call and vent to, pray with, and be accountable to. But, where is she? I have 2 very good friends, they just are far away, and like me, busy with life. Can we step up our friendships? Or, does God have a 3rd friend (or more) to add to my life? How exciting would that be?!
So, if you’re there, be patient with me through my annoying stage, it gets better as we get to know each other more.
And, to my distant sisters-in-Christ, I’m always here. I pray for you often. I pledge to call, text, email, or fb you at least once a week! You’ve changed my life forever! Love you girls!